What is Mussar? We'll talk about that in the next lesson. In this one I'll just tell you what these conversations are going to be about. Mussar is a Hebrew word and a Jewish discipline, but really Mussar teachings are for everyone. They're the things you should have been taught as a child but pro...

Every word in Hebrew comes from a verb, so what's the action word behind Mussar? Oh wait a minute, that action word actually means at least five things, you say? And Mussar is basically a practice of doing those things for myself? What about the first time that action word is used in the Torah, h...

There is evil in the world and if you haven't already encountered it firsthand, you will. When we come face-to-face with the reality of evil we're tempted to become cold in one of two ways - either the grumpy emoji takes over and we get hard, reactive, and closed, or the yawning emoji kicks in an...

The uncomfortable fact is that Mussar means discipline. Our first experiences of Mussar were as children being disciplined by adults and it was not fun. The reality is that humans are imperfect and sometimes fail, and this was certainly true of our parents and the adults in our lives. The good ne...

There are some places in the Bible where the verb behind the Hebrew word "mussar" is translated as punishment, and in one place it's even translated as flogging! So what is Mussar, anyway - is it discipline or punishment? Is there even a difference between the two? And if yes, what's the differen...

What would it look like if you were perfectly happy? Have you ever been, or could you ever be? You may need to brace yourself, because...true happiness doesn't come from sitting on the beach sipping a cold one! Not lasting happiness, anyways. The Hebrew word for happy is "ashrei" and it literally...

How do you feel when I say..."warning"? You probably don't get the warm fuzzies. But it's actually a really positive word! If you never told yourself "if...then…" you'd probably be dead by now. Why? Because sometimes what's bad for future you feels good now, and vice versa. Telling yourself the t...

Now that we've seen what "yasar" means in Biblical Hebrew, let's look at how it was used after the Bible was written down and also look at another noun that comes from that verb: "yissur". We all experience "yissurin", but what do we do with them? Do we frame them positively and allow our trials ...

This is where it gets fun! Every word in Hebrew comes from a verb, and every verb belongs to a family of related words. Not only that, but these families either mean a thing or its opposite! For the next five conversations we're going to look at the family of Hebrew words that "yasar" belongs to ...

Who are you stuck with? Marriage and family relationships are the best place for deep Mussar work. You might feel tied down, inhibited, or outright opposed sometimes, but these are also the bonds that hold you together, meet your basic needs, and enrich your life. Family is your mirror, showing h...

Minimalists value quality over quantity. They choose things they really like instead of just piling up stuff. They clear the clutter to make space for the relationships and experiences that really matter. Are you surprised that Mussar and downsizing are connected in Hebrew? Let's look at how this...

Imagine losing all your inhibitions and being totally free. What do you look like? How do you talk to people? How different would that be from how you are now? People drink to lose their inhibitions and be their real selves, but what if there was another way? If the truth sets you free, what do l...

Have you ever pushed back when someone pushed you first? Or did you go through a rebellious phase in your teens or forties? Our natural response to pressure is to resist, and in extreme cases to outright rebel. We need room to breathe and freedom to be ourselves. So would you be surprised to hear...

We finally made it to "Mussar"! What does this Hebrew word actually mean? Where is Mussar in the Bible? Does it mean the same thing in biblical and modern Hebrew? Why do you hear it pronounced two different ways? And should you spell it "Mussar" or "Musar"? We'll answer all these questions and th...

Mussar is only mentioned once in the Torah but it's a disturbing text: the generation of the Exodus saw God's miracles and his mussar but it wasn't enough and they still died in the desert. Why didn't their experience of Mussar work? The Bible also warns that Mussar can be bad, foolish, and a was...

How do you feel about how "toxic masculinity" is talked about? Have you observed it to be a thoughtful and necessary conversation about hurtful extremes or more of a hatefest that demonizes masculinity and makes men feel bad? Why isn't anybody talking about "toxic femininity"? The reality is that...

If you could have coffee with the King or Queen of an Empire, what advice would they give you? That's what the book of Proverbs is: David, the great warrior-poet, telling his little son all the things. We usually think of Proverbs as wisdom literature, but did you know that Mussar is emphasized e...

What if there was another Hebrew word that was used synonymously with mussar? Do you think maybe it could give you new insights into what your Mussar practice could look like? You're right! "Tochachat" is another word for mussar and is usually translated "reproof". When we look deeper though, toc...

Have you ever been in a situation where either you told the other person that what they were doing wasn't ok, or you pretended everything was fine and watched the relationship turn fake? How about now, who are you avoiding because you don't want to have that hard conversation? What if God did tha...

Has anyone ever told you to stop? Or have you ever had a day when nothing was going your way? Maybe it even felt like the universe - or God himself - was against you! How did you react? There's nothing like being crossed to show where you're really at. We get triggered, we erupt…all sorts of dark...

Most of the synonyms for "reproof" in the dictionary are violent. You get the impression we don't know how to say "stop" or have those hard conversations without losing it and becoming verbally abusive. Maybe that's even happened to you. What do you do when someone's rebuking you but you're not s...

Remember the last thing we discussed? It was why we suck at hard conversations. Maybe we should talk a little more about why they're still important, just so we don't give up. Boundary work, constructive criticism, talking through stuff...there's a word in Hebrew for this and about a dozen relate...

Making the decision to try to talk through stuff with someone can be scary. You want it to go well but there's also that terrifying possibility that you'll just make things worse. How can you know if it'll be worth the effort or if it would be better to just let it go? Are there things you can do...

'Reprove thy neighbor' is right in there with 'love thy neighbor' but it doesn't tell you how to do it! And as we've seen, trying to talk through stuff can go wrong in so many ways. This is the first of four conversations about how to make those hard conversations easier and more likely to end we...