Did you ever meet that guy who never had anything good to say and only spoke up when something was wrong? That doesn't work in relationships and it certainly doesn't help when there's conflict! Let's talk about the five languages of affirmation and how you can use them to make your friend feel go...

If you didn't know what you were feeling and needing you would literally die! For instance, how long would you last if you couldn't brain "I feel thirsty, I need water"? Our whole lives consist of doing things to feel certain ways and meet specific needs. That's why Marshall Rosenberg called the ...

And now it's your turn. How do you share your own feelings and needs and ask for what you want without slipping into those violent old mindsets of blame, demands, and subtle attacks? And what if your friend says no, how do you practice self-care and good boundaries then? This is our fourth and fi...

We all have regrets about the past. We desperately wish we could go back and change it, but the concrete has set and it's too late. All we have left is this moment...and tomorrow. Regrets can be redemptive if they move us to live lives now that we won't regret later, and that's where Mussar warni...

Think about that one thing you've been tempted to do...and tell yourself you're free to do it. How do you feel? Now tell yourself you're just as free to not do it. What happens? We deeply and desperately need to feel free. But how? Where's the real freedom? Maybe if you just did whatever you felt...

What if the only freedom you really had was the choice of what or who you were going to worship? And what does it tell you that the English word for worship means "worth" and the Hebrew means "work"? Let's look at a Hebrew word that's spelled exactly the same as "mussar" but pronounced differentl...

Does God hate you? Maybe that's why he let that happen. Or maybe it's because he's not there anymore. Or maybe he never really was - just like you-know-who when you were growing up. What if the tragic accidents in your life really were just that, random accidents? What if your pain is for nothing...

There's a silver lining around your pain but it might be hard to see. This is where your character is forged, where you get to choose who you're going to be. Because first you form your habits, and then they form you. Suffering is the cagefight where life comes at you fast and hard and the only t...

Everyone practices basic Mussar from early childhood because if they don't they die. But is there more to it than just physical survival? If you've ever experienced the living death of depression then you know that there's so much more to being deeply, truly ALIVE than just subsisting. And what i...

Can you really love your neighbor if you don't love yourself? Be kind to yourself yes, but what does that actually look like? Why is it so easy for self-care to go from taking some needed you-time off so you can get lost in a good story with your favourite snack to staying up all night binge-watc...

Why have stories about 'becoming a real boy' or going on a quest to 'get a heart of your own' resonated so deeply for so long? We have hearts. We are real people. Then why do we dream of more? What would it be like to be more conscious, more aware? Even just to be able to remember what happened l...

The way you move really hot food around in your mouth. Moonlight on water. When you're about to introduce someone and forget their name. The day after tomorrow. That crazy urge to squish cuteness. People who spend lots of time and little money at coffeeshops. What do these things have in common? ...

To say that Mussar is "inner work" is kind of vague. What kind of work? Well...you know how last week we talked about Mussar and how it gives you words for things? This is one of those things that don't have an English equivalent. The Hebrew word is TIKKUN and it means way more than you think. Le...

Mussar gives you words for things. Some of those words are Hebrew because we don't have big enough English words. For example, "tikkun": the inner work of Mussar. In our last conversation I showed you how Tikkun is used in the original Hebrew Bible. Now let's look at what it means in Rabbinic lit...

Want to make the world a better place? The Hebrew word "tikkun" holds a hilariously profound message. Yes, it involves sweeping public changes like government reform, social innovation, remedial legislation, and improving our institutions. And yes, there's also the inner side of personal healing....

If you think 'working on yourself' sounds kind of vague…you're right. Mussar is way more specific than that. Much of "tikkun" is focused on individual character qualities, or "middot" in Hebrew. While literally middot are just quantitative measures, figuratively they range from your soul traits a...

Now that we've talked about the inner work of Mussar and how much of it is focused on specific character qualities or 'middot', let's look at the verb behind this noun. It may help to explain how exactly this Hebrew term for quantitative measurements in three-dimensional space came to mean your c...

Moralism never worked for you? Just couldn't get excited about being good? Good! Because Mussar isn't about being a good person, and Middot aren't virtues. Mussar is the path of the heart - it's about facing those parts of yourself you've been avoiding or suppressing so you can relate as a whole ...

If God is an invisible consuming fire, how are we supposed to follow and cling to him? And if the answer is by walking after and cleaving to his attributes...how do we do that?! God's character qualities may be the closest you'll come to seeing him in this world, but they're invisible too. THAT'S...

What exactly are boundaries, and why are they so important? You're about to see how every organism and organization needs boundaries to survive and thrive: all the way down from countries and cities to every one of the trillions of cells in your body. You'll also discover the five critical things...

Why is the story of Nehemiah rebuilding the walls and gates of Jerusalem so powerful? Because it's such a relatable picture of boundaries work - right down to the backlash of mockery, threats, and intimidation they faced when they first got started! But why was their work so important? Because th...

How are you like a jar? Not only are you made to be poured into, but you're also made to pour out. In fact, that's pretty much all you do, every day: pouring out your time, your attention, and your emotional energy. The only question is who, or what, gets it all. Is it any surprise that the Hebre...

There are so many threads that come together in this conversation I hardly know where to start. God isn't just infinite and indescribable - he also wants to be your all, the one who holds you. He made the world through his Word and it continues to sustain us. And just as he feeds the world with k...

What's the connection between Mussar and money? The verbs behind 'character' and 'cash' are actually closely related. And just as 'measuring' is the action behind 'middah', tracking your spending will reveal your true values. Speaking of which, ever notice how we talk about 'paying' attention as ...